So, I have been having some serious anxiety issues over the past week. If you know me, you know that anxiety is not usually something you would associate me with, but on occasion I have let thoughts seep into the depths of me that wreak havoc. Most recently I have been gripped with fear, hopelessness, and doom over the "end of times". I know this sounds completely ridiculous to some of you, but for some reason lately I have just been so scared over the rapture, the antichrist, and all the things that go along with it. I AM NOT CRAZY! These things are real and they will happen, maybe or maybe not in our lifetime, but they will happen. But my concern is.......why am I scared? I mean I know that when the rapture comes I will be taken up to be with my heavenly father and I will have no more fear, tears, or regret. I know that this is not meant to be something that scares us, as Christians. And hopelessness, fear, and doom, certainly are not of God. So, the only thing I can come up with is that Satan is launching a full on attack on me. He has been doing so ever since I got back from camp. God is calling me to do some pretty amazing things I believe, and I believe that Satan is doing everything in his power to stop me from fulfilling these plans. Ever since I have returned from camp (Centrifuge), Satan has been giving me the one, two punch. First it was dischord in my marriage, then it was my grandfather passing, then it was a bad week at work, well, none of these things worked.....until now. I actually let him get to me, I actually let him get me worked up, I actually let thoughts enter my head that I never could have ever imagined I would think. He has caused me to be joyless, hopeless, unmotivated, dreadful, and faithless. How could I let him do such a thing? Well, no more. Satan, I am done with you. Last night I went on a walk with my mom, she said something to me that made my spirit's rise. It is something she has said to me before, but last night it really hit the spot. She said "Get behind me, Satan". Simple words, but wow! GET BEHIND ME, SATAN! Wow! All of the sudden I realized, I was letting him lead the way, I was letting him lead me into destruction, and once I realized this, I said "Get behind me, Satan." You have no power here, no authority here, no home here. I am a child of my Heavenly Father and He is my authority, He is my power, He is my home, my refuge, my strength. "I will fear no evil, for my God is with me. And if my God is with me, whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear?" So, Satan, I've got my boxing gloves on now, so you better be ready for a fight!
This video is what I imagine Jesus is doing for me right now. He is so awesome!!!
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2 comments:
While keeping the faith is a good thing, naturally, Cousin, do not fall into the trap of blaming every bad thing that happens in life on Satan. Bad things happen, and it's natural in a time of stress to experience anxiety.
You've probably heard the quote, "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making the world think he didn't exist." I think that's not it at all. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making the faithful think that all bad things come from him. They don't. Our grandfather dying was not an act of Satan. He was an old, sick man. In one sense his passing is sad in that we no longer have him with us, but in another, I'm glad it happened because he's no longer suffering. He had been suffering for far longer than he let on.
And as for discord in your marriage, I don't think you can chalk this up to Satanic attack either. You are a headstrong person. You always have been. And from what I know of him, Jason is too. You are going to clash many, many times over the coming years. This is just how life operates. The important thing isn't the number of times that you argue, but that your love for each other exceeds your annoyance with each other. And as I don't believe that you took the words "I do" lightly, I am not personally worried about your capacity to love your husband more than your capacity to be angry with him over annoyances. You'll overcome it. Simple as that.
I realize my response is getting rather long, but I encourage you to study a bit more about the Apocalypse of John at Patmos (the original name for the Book of Revelation). Study outside of the usual channels and books the SBC offers. You will find that the idea of that particular book as Prophecy is a very new one, historically speaking. Most accredited Biblical scholars tend to agree that it was not prophecy at all, but metaphor for the state of the world, specifically the Roman Empire, during John's exile at Patmos, and that the end of the book is meant as encouragement to the members of the early churches (I use plural because there was no unified early church movement). Perhaps considering it from a different point of view will alleviate some of your fears.
I do agree with some of what you are saying. I know that not all bad things come from Satan, and not all "bad" things are bad. I know that Satan did not cause PawPaw to die, and I know that Jason and I will always have our moments. I just feel that Satan has tried to use these things and "intensify" these things to cause me to stumble. I do believe that because Jason and I have struggled with making our faith the center of our marriage it has allowed Satan to come in and wreak some havoc on our relationship, and I believe this could have been prevented if we had our armour of God on. I also believe that because of his ready access to our marriage, he uses this a lot against me. I believe that I could see God through the latter issues, it was just this recent issue that seem to have my vision blocked. I appreciate your input on that subject. My main problem is that I don't want to fear these things whether prophecy or metaphors. I agree too that anxiety comes in time of stress, and it definitely has been a time of stress for me...and all of us. Thank you for taking the time to give me another side. I love you.
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